Monday, August 8, 2011


Sawan didn’t care for cake.  So when I was making dinner for family and a couple of friends last week for his birthday, I made this:

Cool whip Pie
In large mixing bowl, blend 1 can condensed milk (Eagle Brand), ¼ cup lemon juice.  Add 1 large Cool whip—fold in 1 package frozen (thawed and drained) berries (I used mixed berries, but I think just blueberries or strawberries would have been yummier).  Pour into pie shell (graham cracker crust).  Chill 3-4 hours.

It’s a recipe that Sawan had made once for a holiday, and it came from a cookbook that his mom had put together before she died (all in her own handwriting) of recipes that she always made.  It was delicious.

I had fun looking through the cookbook, because it had lots of things in it that he had made for me, recipes that he had added in his own handwriting, and little notes to the sides of other’s recipes with the way that he had changed them. 

We also planted an oak tree in his memory in the back yard.  At the funeral, instead of flowers, someone sent this really cool gift box that was a “memory tree.”  It had a little pot and soil and seeds for an oak tree.  Because I was such a mess, my mom has been the keeper of the oak tree.  It has barely made it.  So, instead of that, my parents bought a bigger, more substantial one to go in the backyard, and we planted it on Sawan’s birthday. 

Sawan was a recovering alcoholic.  So, Fresca was his beverage of choice.  We had some that night, and poured one out into the tree for him.  I think he would have found this hilarious.
Pouring in the Fresca...

Arthur and I next to the finished product.
I did pretty well on August 2.  I cooked food, made a pie, celebrated a birthday.  The next day, I had two appointments, then immediately came home and took a long nap, then went to bed by 8:30.  I’ve done some version of that every day since.  I’m just kind of a mess.  I’m still grieving, I guess.


  1. Sad we missed it. Can't wait to see the tree! love you, friend.

  2. I think you are doing very well.