Monday, September 19, 2011

Widow Care Package

I get hits from Google regularly about “Widow Care Package.”  I’ve gotten enough that I thought I should address it.  I have sent a care package, with items that I remembered being a comfort in the beginning, and then I also keep a running list in my head of what I wish I would have put in there, too.  Here are some ideas:

A gift card to her favorite clothing store.  I didn’t want to wear or even see anything that had any memory attached to it.  I wanted to completely start over with my clothes.

Panties.  See above.  Especially underwear.

Mercy Me ’10.’ It’s the only “safe” CD that I could listen to for a good year and a half.  Track 10 is called “Homesick” and is the best song for widows I’ve ever heard.

Small packs of Puffs facial tissue.  I can only find them at Walgreens.  They’re better than the Kleenex kind, which are rougher, and I always have them in my purse.  I’m always “packin’.”

A hot water bottle.  My feet get cold at night.  I used to put them on Sawan to warm them up, and he always let me.  Using the hot water bottle eases the pain a little bit.  I’ve heard other widows say this same thing.

Dare to Repair.  This book has great info for women on how to fix just about anything in a house!

I also think that in the first month I only consumed a total of about 1000 calories a week.  I just wasn’t interested in eating.  So, maybe some snacks?  Like nuts?

As far as books on grieving to put in your care package, I’m afraid I can’t be of much help, I tried pretty hard, but didn’t really like any of them (or get through them, actually), except Anne Lamott’s “Traveling Mercies,” which isn’t even really about grief, it just has some short stories about grief added in there.

This is just what I could think of.  What other suggestions would you have?


  1. Letter to a Grieving Heart by Billy Sprague (I was so skeptical, but it was so gentle and sweetly healing for my heart)
    Streams in the Desert (devotional) by C.E. Cowman
    One Moment More (CD) by Mindy Smith
    Thank you notes
    A roll of stamps

    Streams in the Desert has my absolute favorite poem about death:

    E'en for the dead I will not bind my soul to grief.
    Death cannot long divide.
    For is it not as if the rose that climbed my garden wall
    has blossomed on the other side?
    Death does hide, but not divide.
    You are but on Christ's other side!
    You are with Christ, and Christ with me.
    In Christ united still are we.

    It still makes me cry.

    1. Thank you for quoting this poem. I recently lost my mom and I was in tears at the end of it. I must find my copy of Streams in the Desert again.

      I also love your suggestion of thank you notes and a roll of stamps. Lovely idea!

  2. @Addie,
    You sent that poem to me before, and I LOVE it.

    And I wish I had said the thing in there about thank you notes and stamps. Someone sent me a roll of stamps when Sawan died and it was just so meaningful and thoughtful. And now I'm going to check out Mindy Smith...


  3. I love the hot water bottle idea! I may just have to get one for my mom this year! LOVE your blog!

  4. A beautiful smelling candle. I find them very comforting and I always have one lit by my late husband's picture. It just adds warmth. Great ideas above. Thank you.
    Oh gift cards for favorite restaurants. Those were a life saver in the beginning.

  5. When my Dad passed away, my mom filled some new socks he'd left behind with rice and tied them off. She heated them in the microwave and slipped them under the sheets to warm her feet. My dad had always been her foot warmer and these were a comfort to her.

    Thank you for the list of thoughtful and practical things to gift grieving people with. I will keep them for future reference.

  6. I should add that the socks were all cotton heavy tube socks that didn't melt in the microwave.