Saturday, December 5, 2015

Fair Warning

I was talking about my writing today, and sharing about how I had offended someone in the last post, and so I had stopped posting for a while.  Even though I had tried so hard not to hurt feelings (I wrote the paragraph in question over and over and over on Whatever), I still had done so.  I felt terrible.  It made me so sad.  But, I let that control me, manipulate me.  I let them take my voice.  No one should have that power. 

I was reminded of, and am claiming this for my own:
I will do my best to be honest (and not make myself look like a hero).  I will try (I will write and re-write paragraphs) not to hurt feelings.  I am not taking license to be snotty.  But, fair warning.  This is my story. I will tell it. 

6 comments:

  1. I'm so happy you're back! My husband (aged 37) died unexpectedly in July, 2015 and I consumed...no, gorged myself on, your blog. You were a bright light in the darkness and I appreciate your writing immensely.

    This is your story...you must tell it your way, if people are offended, that is their right, but that is also their burden. You are helping so many, me included. please write your story as you see fit.

    One widow to another, you do it your way...there is no handbook for this grief thing!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Shawna, I'm so sorry! I did the same thing with another widow's blog. She was actually a friend of a friend and since then we have actually become good friends. I get it, the need to just hear how other people cope, so that you know that you're not going crazy. But, sheesh, you're right. There's no handbook. Especially in our culture. One of the downsides to the "melting pot", I guess. We, as Americans, don't have our own customs for grief. I found myself wishing I were Indian (with their vermillion in their hair), or Jewish (with specific amounts of time for each milestone), or something! I felt that I was having to figure it all out on my own. Hang in there.

      Delete
  2. You can't please everyone. I've always found your posts to be thoughtful and introspective. Someone might have had to stretch pretty hard to find offense. And if they did, it might have to do more with their wounds than your words.
    I am not a widow, but I appreciate reading about your journey. I have my own struggles, and your courage has been inspiring.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a kind thing to say. It's true that we all have our own struggles, and, as you said, our own wounds. Hang in there.

      Delete