The other day, I was driving to work, and I heard this song:
Usually, when I hear the hard ones, I immediately change the station, or sometimes turn the radio off entirely. But this day was different. For some reason, I needed to hear it. I needed to have the memory. I needed to slog through the memories that were now painful, even though they were once sweet. I think that I needed to be reminded, because I had completely forgotten, that once, there was a man who felt this way about me. He would sing it to me. We danced to it in the living room of his tiny little apartment.
I guess I had forgotten. Being the only one left in this marriage, I forget that there were two of us once, both loving. It's silly, but I forget that I wasn’t the only one in the marriage at one point.
I got a message from one of Sawan’s friends from highschool on Facebook recently, and she said to call her if I was ever in her town, she’d love to meet the “woman of Sawan’s dreams.” And it totally took me by surprise. I thought, “I was, wasn’t I?”
And so, for the first time in several months, I’ve gotten my wedding ring back out and put it on. I have just needed the reminder for a few days that once, someone loved me more than anyone else in the world.