Monday, January 28, 2013

"Really, Universe?"

I thought I might give you guys a glimpse into the hilarity that is my love life.

Sometimes, the Universe gets it right.

The night before I left for Seattle, a girlfriend of mine arranged a Happy Hour with three suitable men that she thought I might like to go out with.  It felt a little like an episode of the Bachelorette, in the best possible way.  Three adoring men, all vying for my affection. 

There was Bachelor Number One, extremely attractive, with full sleeve tattoos, dark hair and light eyes.  Mmm Hmm.  He was easy on the eyes.

Bachelor Number Two would possibly win the prize for the World’s Nicest Guy.  And he could completely remodel my house.  Excellent option, but I didn’t really find him attractive.

Then there was Bachelor Number Three.  He was attractive, had a big boy job, and matched me in wit and intellect.  Plus, he loved baseball (the Rockies, no less), and was talking about the trip he had planned with his dad for Spring Training.  He seemed like my best option.

They bought the beer, and walked me to my car, but it was left as a “see you around.”  They all live in my neighborhood, and they’re either going to have to ask my friend for my number or I’ll really have to “see them around.”

It was a fun evening.

A week later, after my trip, I got sick (this seems to always happen when I travel).  I spent days in bed.

So, on Monday, after having literally been sick for a week and in bed all weekend, I began to feel like the walls were closing in on me.  I was feeling quite a bit better, knew I had to head back to work the next day and didn’t have a crumb of groceries in my house.  I thought a trip to the store was in order, to solve two problems at once:  the grocery problem and the cabin fever.

I got up, put on a pair of sweat pants and a hat.  No make up.  (As a natural blonde, my eyelashes are blonde, too, so with no makeup on I look weird and people always ask me "What's wrong?")  As I was driving to the store, I thought, “It’d be just your luck that you’d run into Bachelor Number Three at the store.”  I kept my head down as I walked in, then quickly did my grocery shopping without making eye contact and checked out.

As I finished putting the groceries in the back seat I thought, “Phew.  You made it.  Home free.”  I started to load Arthur into the car when I hear, “Hey.”

I didn’t even recognize the voice, I just thought, “Oh. No.”

I turned, and it was the man I dated all summer, I guess we’ll call him my “ex-boyfriend,” whom I haven’t seen in two and a half months.  I said “Hey,” back, then briefly raised my head to the heavens to ask, “Really?!  Really, Universe?”

We had a conversation which was…fine.  Awkward.  I would like to have looked amazing when I saw him, just because, I feel like it’s “winning” and I want to win every encounter (and this time I have to admit defeat).  But, I guess I would way rather it have been the ex-boyfriend then the new prospect. 

It’s just that sometimes the Universe gets it wrong, and much laughter ensues.

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