Five years ago today I married the man of my dreams. I chose him in spite of all his
imperfections, and he chose me in spite of mine. We always said that no
one deserved to be loved like this, that we were so unbelievably
lucky. Our first dance, and “our
song” was Ben Fold’s “the Luckiest.”
I’ve struggled with life after Sawan. I’ve struggled partially because of our
song, because of the last verse (where the wife dies two days after the
husband), and also, with wondering if I really was lucky at all to have been
loved that way, or if the pain of losing Sawan just ruined me for the rest of
my life. I’m realizing, though,
that Ben’s last verse is entirely wrong.
That for me, true love, true courage, is to live, finding that my soul is big
enough to still love Sawan for the rest of my life, like I vowed to five years
ago today, and also finding space to hope that someday I will love another.
Happy Anniversary, Baby. I
miss you everyday.
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| Sawan and Noel Nail First Dance. July 1, 2007 |
Beautiful picture Noey.
ReplyDeleteThe final line of your blog should be the final line of your song. It's lovely, with room for God to expand your life more than you could ask or imagine.
ReplyDeleteNow that's a happy anniversary. Kudos to your fine spirit and enduring love!
ReplyDelete