She was there for me.
It’s amazing that all of my siblings were there to support me within 24 hours of everything happening. Cori had to come the farthest. She and her family live in London, England.
She’s really good at math.
For lots of reasons, it’s difficult to get as much time talking to Cori as I want. The biggest thing in our way is the time difference. Not only is it seven hours later there, so there are only a few hours of the day that we’re both up, but doing the math for that can be difficult. Plus there’s boys yelling in the background and babies to change and dinner to be made. She has a lot going on. But she makes time for me and it’s great.
She’ll talk about sex.
This is something that I struggle with as a widow. It seems that sex is an off-limits subject. Like we’re supposed to skip that part of our grieving, or not tell people about it or something. It’s weird, though, because one day I was having sex all the time, and now I’m not getting any. Cori will let me talk about sex all I want.
She made me buy matching panties for my new bra.
This is probably way too much information. I needed new bras. I was buying some and she was with me. Matching panties came up and I said, “No, no one sees me in them anyway.” (This is another part of the grieving thing.) And she said, “YOU see you in them.”
She called Sawan “her brother.”
When she tells stories about him, he is not referred to as “the brother in law,” but the “brother.” This communicates to me how much she loved him, and the degree that she feels his loss, and it means a lot to me.
She is very sensitive about my feelings.
Babies are the hardest thing for me. I wanted one so badly. She was pregnant when Sawan died. Asher is now almost seven months, and I think it must be difficult to have a newborn. She rarely complains about it, at least not to me, because I have mentioned lots of times that it drives me crazy when people complain about nursing/being up in the middle of the night/date night changes when you have a newborn/I’m sick of changing diapers. I wanna say, “Oh yeah, boohoo, you have the life I was dreaming of.” So she mostly says stuff about how thankful she is for her little guy, and I think people must think that she’s Pollyanna, but I can hear in her words that she’s thinking about me.
Sawan loved Cori, too.
She reminded him of his mom. She was a midwife, Cori is a doula, and they’re similar. Plus they both sortof had that hippy thing going on. Cori and Sawan immediately bonded over cooking. They both loved to cook and it was the two of them that shared meal planning when it came to holidays and family get-togethers.
I love you Cori. Thank you for being the best big sister in the world. Thank you for being there for me. You’re pretty amazing.
|Couldn't find a photo of Cori and Sawan, so I chose one of Cori, myself and Ellie in our matching Rockies hats, taken by Sawan, June 2009.|