Let me tell you about my Sunday.
I went to Adullam. That’s recovering evangelical for church. Then we went to lunch at Chipotle. I decided to go even though I had so much to do because, hey, I gotta eat and lord knows there’s even fewer groceries in my house with a planned move tomorrow than there normally are. I didn’t dilly-dally. I came straight home.
Side note: I have an earwax problem. My ears produce LOTS of earwax. Occasionally this becomes a problem when some of it gets packed down and I become hard of hearing. I had reached that point earlier this week, but they had given me special drops at the doctor the last time I was in to try to soften it and keep this problem contained. So when it became an issue this week, I dutifully used my drops, but they got stuck behind the wax, and now I can hear even less, and can’t get the wax out, but I feel like I have water in my ear. This creates all kinds of problems with communicating, I can neither hear nor tell how loud I’m talking. It feels like I’m shouting.
So I come home from Chipotle and only have a few minutes to get some stuff done before they’re showing my rental at 3. So I check Facebook, because, you know, priorities. Then I start frantically making my bed and straightening up the house for the showing. Then my bestie shows up with her friend J that I just met today. I think they were here to help, since I had packing still to do, but with my showing and having to leave, we didn’t get around to it. She just immediately started bossing me around about my earwax issue.
I’m freaking out about how much time I have before people are showing up to look at what a slob I am, Ingrid’s bossing me around about packing and earwax, and Nurse Ellie (my sister/roommate) gets roped into an attempt at earwax extraction with no otoscope (that’s my word for the day, it’s the thingy they stick in your ear to look at your ear canal), but rather a mini maglite (held in her mouth so she had both hands free) and a bobby pin. Even though we got an awesome and disgusting extraction, I still can’t hear.
Then, in all of the confusion, the front door had been left open, and the screen door doesn’t latch. (Have I mentioned that I can’t wait to move?) So Arthur, the dog, decided that now would be a good time for him to make his escape. He’s tired of earning his keep. So Ingrid says “Oh, no! Arthur just went out the front door.” All four of us go running down the stairs, first J, then Ingrid, then Ellie, then me. Except, I trip over the fourth step. Our stairway is not a standard set, but rather 16 very steep stairs. I was sure it was going to be dominoes. I saw the afternoon flash before my eyes. I thought we’d all end up in the ER and I was never going to get my packing done. Somehow I managed to break my fall enough to only partially knock over Ellie, and she didn’t knock over Ingrid, and either her or J got out to get the escapee. So, other than a huge bruise that goes from about my bra strap to my knee on my left side, it all worked out. Not bad for a 12-foot tumble down the stairs, clearly I just need to work on my dismount.
Then I went to home depot during the showing, came home and packed and packed and packed even though my whole body hurts, the end.
And, J said that that was the most epic 10 minutes spent at anyone’s house. Ever. I sure know how to leave an impression.