Then, why are you picking your seat?

Yesterday on Facebook I posted as my “status update” the following:  “Freezing my fanny off in my bedroom, think it’s time to turn the heater on already.”

This got no less than a shocking 20 comments!  It overall made me feel very loved that people were concerned about the condition of my fanny, but has had me chuckling to myself all day.

Comments ran the gamut of telling me how the weather was in their part of the country/world, just saying hi, encouraging me that it was ok to go ahead and turn on the heat, memories of my husband from my sweet sister in law, and my favorite, a friend from UK, telling me that “fanny” in her part of the world, is a more rude way to refer to a very different part of my anatomy.

In our part of the world, fanny is a butt.  A bottom.  A booty, a behind, a bohonkus, a rear-end, a tushy, a keister, a derrier, a rump.  Your backside, your seat, your caboose, your heinie.  We refer to them as “cheeks,” and “biscuits,” and “buns.”  My nephew Jake calls it his “bit.”  I’ve been racking my brain all day for the “g-rated” terms for your posterior (I’m sure I’ll think of 10 more funnier ones after I’ve posted this, but feel free to comment on ones I missed…).

Always the mature one (I did just mention that I spent the day meditating on g-rated names for butts, right?), I rounded the corner at the grocery store the other day, and a woman, who thought she was alone, was picking her underwear out of her butt.  It was everything I could do to NOT ask her, when she looked up at me, busted, “Going to the movies?”